EIGHT TIPS TO HELP TEENS MANAGE STRESS

As I’ve noted this month, surveys have shown that stress in teens is common. The top two stressors include worries about school and getting into a good college (see last week’s post about the psychological effects of the college admissions scandal). An increase in depression in teens also has been noted in surveys. The signs and symptoms of stress in teens include a range of physical and emotional manifestations discussed in earlier posts. While we all experience life challenges, prolonged stress responses to events leads to deterioration in physical and mental health. In this post, I’ll highlight eight stress management tips for teens and those who love and care about them. Some of the tips come from an American Psychological Association (APA) help center article titled “Teens and stress: How to keep stress in check”.

1. Physical exercise. One of the more effective stress relief activities is to engage in exercise. Teens should find activities they enjoy, e.g. running, walking, yoga, skateboarding, etc. If there is a social component, that’s even better for strengthening social connections without using social media.

2. Sleep. Teens should get their proper sleep, usually defined as approximately 9 hours per night. Surveys by APA show that teens report that they sleep on average only 7.4 hours per school night. There have been various studies suggesting that schools open later in the morning to accommodate such needs. Those have yet to be implemented. However, usual sleep hygiene recommendations apply. For example, reduce stimulating activities, e.g. TV and computers in the hour before sleep, and don’t drink stimulating beverages too close to bedtime.

3. Enjoyable activities. It’s important for teens to find activities they find enjoyable. These should be included even on days where the teen has other activities. The activity can be almost anything teens find enjoyable, to include listening to music, reading for fun, working on projects with their hands.

4. Plan schedule to have fun. It’s important to schedule the fun discussed above. Too many people including adults do not schedule pleasurable activities and leave them for if/when they complete all so-called necessary tasks. The problem is that the pleasurable/fun activities often get crowded out of the day or week. Actually scheduling them makes it more likely they will occur.

5. Focus on strengths. Teens should focus on their talents, interests, and strengths and build on those. Some teens are good at one subject and can tutor others. Other teens have more spiritual interests and can help out/volunteer for activities at church. If you have an interest in creating things, consider a woodworking class. I remember as a teen taking an automotive mechanics class as I wanted to learn more. It has helped in many ways.

6. Set reasonable expectations. As I noted in last week’s discussion of perfectionism in many teens, unreasonable expectations often lead to negative thoughts about oneself when you can’t achieve the desired perfection or other expectations, often coming from parents. These unreasonable expectations often are a contributor to the increasing rates of depression in teens. Help teens challenge any overgeneralized negative conclusions about themselves, such as “I’m no good; I’m a failure; I’m dumb”, among many others. Negative mindsets are a source of much distress.

7. Breathing/meditation/relaxation/mindfulness. Increasingly, various relaxation and present focusing strategies are being used to reduce stress and anxiety. These can be used to help teens learn how to focus and calm themselves in the face of challenges.

8. Get help and talk. It is well known that talking helps reduce stress. Parents, teachers, and other adults can and should be available to assist teens in talking out their worries and considering alternative ways to manage their stress. If need be, they can help teens access mental health professionals.

If you need more information about stress, please consult our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. If you want more information about the book, authors, and other information on stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

As always, good luck on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related topics, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com

WHAT ARE WE TEACHING OUR TEENS ABOUT ACHIEVEMENT AND SUCCESS?

I have been writing this month on teens and stress. During the last two posts, I reviewed causes of stress as well as symptoms of stress in teens. While I was planning to write on intervention strategies, two related events in the news occurred this week and I decided to write on a different topic. One event was a study from the American Psychological Association. In that study, it was noted that rates of depression, psychological distress, and suicidal thoughts have increased significantly in the last 10-12 years for young people under the age of 26. Also, symptoms associated with major depression rose 52% in adolescents ages 12-17 years. The second event was the news of the college admissions scandal in which parents of financial means fraudulently obtained admission of their children to colleges via submitting or obtaining false test scores as well as fabricating athletic accomplishments.

Given the already noted increasing rates of depression, distress, and suicidality in teens, a salient issue emerges. In fact, it was the title of a piece in the Huffington Post for 3/15/19 by Lindsay Holmes, i.e. “We can’t talk about the college admissions scandal without discussing mental health”. Beyond the alleged criminality of the parents’ behavior, the author highlighted the increasing pressures on young adults to be successful. Sometimes this pressure is self imposed, sometimes imposed by parents. In fact, the author noted past research indicating that perfectionism increases a person’s risk for depression, particularly when for teens the pressure comes from the parents. Ms. Holmes cited an excellent article by Dr. Lynn Margolies from 2016 In PsychCentral titled “The Paradox of Pushing Kids to Succeed”. Dr. Margolies observed that our teens are embedded in a culture driven by competition and success, where success is defined by status, performance, and appearance. The author explained that we often are failing to recognize and foster in teens the capacities associated with success. Instead of grades, acceptances in prestigious colleges, or inflated self-esteem, there are other capacities worth fostering and correlated with life success. These include psychological capacities of optimism, curiosity, a sense of oneself as capable, and the ability to manage negative emotions and handle obstacles. As noted by Dr. Margolies, these psychological capacities develop when parents give teens space by being present, responsive, and interested - rather than reactive, controlling or preoccupied. Excessive parental concern about teen success leads parents to be overinvolved and intrusive, such as what has happened in the admissions scandal. What are such parents teaching their teens about integrity, personal accomplishment, and the teens’ own sense of capability and self mastery? Probably not much. Continuing to pressure teens to avoid failure and stepping in to make sure they don’t can influence their children far more negatively than most parents realize.

In the Holmes’ article, Dr. Victor Schwartz of the Jed Foundation observed that “The intense competition for academic achievement, or the appearance of achievement, and resume building have arguably taken time away from social skills and connection-building activities like joining clubs, intramural sports, and even just spending time playing or daydreaming. These all can feed a sense of anxiety and despair in many young people”. It is worth noting that such concerns go beyond that subset of parents/teens caught up in the admissions scandal. Before you say that this only applies to the parents in the admissions scandal, take a look at yourself. These societal trends and pressures apply to most teens and parents at this time in our society. Just look back at the data on depression, distress, and suicidality.

There clearly is indication that the performance pressure being placed on teens today places them at risk for many negative consequences. Besides depression, these include anxiety disorders, alcohol and substance abuse, eating disorders, recklessness and risky behavior, and feelings of emptiness and self-doubt.

In the Margolies article, she noted recommendations for parents to lessen the likelihood of the negative consequences of pressures to achieve and succeed. Some of the Do’s include:

1. Encourage teens to make their own choices while helping them think through consequences.

2. Be curious about what makes them happy.

3. Be aware of trying to stay with your teen’s negative emotion versus trying to rescue them or being reactive.

4. Be aware of ways you may shame or punish perceived failure

Some of the Don’ts include:

1. Use money or excessive rewards for good grades (blocks internal motivation)

2. Shame or punish teens for their performance

3. Make academic or other decisions for your teen without involving them.

4. Be intrusive and micromanage grades on tests.

5. Use fear to motivate

6. Lecture them.

7. Rescue them from non-dangerous natural consequences.

The combination of the news about increased mental health issues in teens and the implications of the college admissions scandal should alert parents to attend to the possible consequences of their day to day behavior and encourage them to re-focus on and foster adaptive capabilities in their teens. These include helping them learn, as mentioned earlier, how to handle challenges and obstacles. These commonly are referred to as stressful events. If you need more information on stress, what it is, and how to manage it, please see our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For other information about the book, authors, and other information on stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

Nobody ever said parenting was easy but it can be done well. Best of luck on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related topics, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com

SIX SIGNS OF STRESS IN YOUR TEEN

In last week’s post, I discussed common sources of stress in teens. As noted there, teens have their own unique sets of issues such as academic pressures, bullying, peer pressure, family problems, among others. As I always say, there are many challenges in life and some anxiety occurs for most of us at times. This is true also for teens. In this week’s post I discuss signs of stress in teens. So how do you know if your teen may be showing signs and symptoms of stress which rise to a level of more concern? I will mention six:

1. Physical symptoms/illness. For both adults and teens, stress often shows its effects in the physical domain in terms of symptoms, complaints, and illnesses. Teens are more likely to get colds and other illnesses. They may complain of headaches, stomach pain, and other physical concerns. They may have disturbances in sleep, leading to fatigue and greater risk to handle stress poorly. Teens experiencing higher levels of stress often sleep too much. Consider whether your teen goes back to bed after school and/or sleeps much of the weekend. As a result of these problems, they may miss more school and social activities.

2. Academic/educational issues. The basis of your teen’s stress might relate to problems in school. They feel pressure to achieve and keep up with others. If your teen’s grades have declined and/or they are missing school more often, check out whether school issues might be a source.

3. Changes in social interaction. Social activities frequently are affected negatively by higher levels of stress. Evaluate whether your teen is isolating and thus struggling. Are they spending more time in their room or avoiding talking to friends and family? These could be signs of stress.

4. Concentrational problems. When teens or adults are preoccupied with problems worrying them, they often lose focus and can’t concentrate on their work. For teens, that may be school work where they become distracted in class, and have trouble staying on task and completing academic assignments. Is that happening for your teen?

5. Irritability and Worry. Teens can be moody. Anyone who spends time with teens knows that. However, a teen feeling highly stressed may become more irritable over smaller issues and feel overwhelmned. Stressed teens worry about a wider range of issues than those less stressed. They may express concerns about all the bad things they think might happen or how others will see them. If these symptoms are occurring for your teen, this may be a sign that they are experiencing problematic levels of stress.

6. Negative talk and behavior. Teens experiencing problematic levels of stress often engage in negative talk. They may talk about concerns that no one likes them or things just don’t go right. Such talk occurs for most teens at some time and that is not unusual. However, if it is a regular part of your teen’s conversation, then it is concerning. At the same time, teens under higher levels of stress often engage in problem behaviors. This might include skipping school, talking back to parents, or getting into altercations with friends or others. While parents need to set limits on negative behavior, it’s still worth considering whether the behavior is stress related.

Most teens occasionally experience some of the issues described above. The concerns are the number of problem areas, the frequency/severity, and the impact of the behaviors on family/social/academic functioning for the teen. For your teen, the more problems areas in which they have difficulties, the more frequent and severe are the signs/symptoms, and the more disabling the outcomes on their lives, the more likely they need some assistance. That can be from you but sometimes from professional personnel. For now stay aware of the issues. There is help available. In next week’s post I will discuss some intervention strategies.

For greater information on stress as a phenomenon, please see our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress So It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For additional information about the authors, book, and other information related to stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

As always, the feeling of stress is in part a choice made in response to life’s challenges. Don’t make it yours. Good luck on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and other topics, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com

DO YOU KNOW THE COMMON SOURCES OF STRESS FOR TEENS?

We know that teenagers suffer from stress. What sometimes is not realized is just how much stress they suffer and the extent to which their stress levels rival those of adults. In this month’s posts, I will cover several aspects of teen stress. In this post I will discuss common sources of stress for teens. Next week the topic will be signs and symptoms of stress in teens. The following week the topic will be ways for teens to help manage and reduce stress in their lives. For a broader coverage of stress and its effects, please refer to our published book (I Can’t Take It Anymore; How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For additional information on the book, authors, and other stress information, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

The American Psychological Association has conducted a survey of teen stress and some of the findings are striking. Teens worry most about school (83%), getting into a good college (69%), and financial concerns for their families (65%). Many teens state they lie awake at night (35%), feel irritable or angry (40%), or feel overwhelmned by stress during the past month (31%). In that survey, many teens reported that they were curt or snapped at schoolmates (26%) in the past month and 51% of teens noted that others told them they appeared stressed during the last month.

So what are common sources of stress for teens?

1. School/academic stress. As noted above, teens worry about school related activities to include grades, applying to college, and keeping up with parental demands and expectations as well as those of classmates. Too many teens have poor time management skills to assist them in better handling these challenges.

2. Social stress. Teens live in a social world and place a high priority on their relationships. Dealing with peers and siblings can be difficult. Some teens experience bullying and peer pressure. They often do not have the relationship and conflict management skills to manage these social pressures and sometimes act rashly so as to please peers or act out frustrations. Their self soothing and relaxation skills often are not developed well enough to help teens. Also, often they do not have outlets to discuss their concerns.

3. Family issues. Family stress has a ripple effect on teens and what affects the family affects them. These issues can include parental marital discord, perceived excessive expectations, sibling conflicts to include sibling bullying, family illnesses, and financial pressures. All contribute to higher levels of stress in teens.

4. Traumatic occurrences. Such occurrences can include the death of a family member or close friend, illness of such persons, their own sickness, and physical/emotional abuse.

5. World events. Teens today are exposed to a news cycle which often brings negative events into their awareness in a way unknown decades ago. Many people are affected by natural disasters, school shootings, and acts of terrorism. These can result in teens worrying about their safety and that of others. In the Los Angeles Times for March 3, 2019, Sonali Kohli and Iris Lee wrote an article titled “In Harm’s Way”. In that article, they discussed the ways in which students at many schools deal every day with the stresses of physical and psychological trauma simply getting to their schools in communities often surrounded by violence.

6. Life changing events. Teens can experience major life changes challenging their abilities to cope. These can include moving, starting a new school, making new friends, dealing with the increasing frequency of blended families in a society where almost half of all marriages end in divorce.

   So how can a teen handle these challenges and sources of stress? How does a parent assist their young person in coping? A first step is in recognizing what in fact are the challenges for both adults and teens. Just knowing what are sources of stress can begin the process of acknowledging what may be difficult life challenges for the teen. Knowing what may constitute a potential problem is a beginning toward handling that problem and your own reaction.

   So for now, be mindful of the potential risks for teens and recognize the likelihood that they may experience signs of a stress reaction. I will cover those signs and symptoms in an upcoming post. Stay tuned.

   Good luck on your journey. Remember as always that negative stress is a choice we make in response to a challenge. Don’t make it yours.

   Dr. Paul Longobardi

   For information on these and related topics, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com

CAN A MASSAGE HELP YOU REDUCE YOUR FEELINGS OF STRESS?

While travelling this month, I and my wife Janice availed ourselves of massages.  From a physical perspective, the stress reduction benefits are significant.  We discussed this issue in our co-authored book (I Can't Take it Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn't Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D. and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.) available on Amazon at  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For additional information about the authors, book, and other information on stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

For now, here is an excerpt from that book on the topic of massage and stress reduction:

While we all seek positive well-being and control of our reaction to the stresses of life, sometimes that seems difficult to achieve.  To have a good well-being you need to be fit, healthy, and mentally happy. There are many different ways to reach a good well-being and reduce our life stressors.  Massage is often cited as a useful tool to reach a state of positive well-being not only because of its physical benefits but also because of its mental benefits. Essentially massage can make your mind, body and soul feel very good. According to the American Massage Therapy Association, in 2006, 39 million Americans, or one in six, received at least one professional massage. Clearly, Americans are seriously interested in stress relief as well as the many other benefits of massage. The Mayo Clinic (Mayo Clinic, 2015) had identified massage as a valid medical method to reduce stress and pain and reported, "Massage reduced anxiety in depressed children and anorexic women. It also reduced anxiety and withdrawal symptoms in adults trying to quit smoking." Garner et al (2008) conducted a study that concluded, "Massage therapy had immediate beneficial effects on anxiety-related measures."  The Franklin Institute website reported, "Massage releases endorphins that calm the peripheral nervous system."   In the Psychooncology Journal in 2008, Stringer, Swindell, and Dennis reported that, "Massage in patients undergoing intensive chemotherapy reduces serum cortisol (a stress hormone) and prolactin.  A significant reduction in cortisol could be safely achieved through massage, with associated improvement in psychological well-being." What about the possibility of benefits from massage in the workplace?  In an article in the Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, Shulman and Jones (1996) showed significant reductions in anxiety levels were found for their massage group compared to a control group who participated in break therapy. In some other workplace studies, reductions in blood pressure have been found as well.   In fact, on-site chair massage therapy programs are becoming more common in various organizations.  If you never have experienced a therapeutic massage or have not had one in a long time, consider the stress reduction benefits and give it a try.  

So for what are you waiting?  Give massage a try and experience the positive stress reduction effects.  Take charge of your health.

Best wishes on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

Tips on How to Work Your Proper Hours

Work Your Proper Hours Day is February 22, 2019, a Friday this year.  The day recognizes the millions of people at work who regularly do unpaid overtime, giving their employers billions of dollars of free work. If the millions of people who do unpaid overtime added it all up at the beginning of the year, it'd be until 22 February before they got paid for the work they've been doing. Long hours aren't good for anyone. Stress from workloads and the long hours culture makes people sick and wrecks relationships, and tired staff have lower productivity, so are bad for business. We discuss these issues related to stress in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. If you want to know more about the book, authors, and other information on stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com. If you are one of those people working unpaid overtime, consider how well or poorly you are balancing your life and what effect this is having on your mindset.  Then, consider four alternatives to help you make the most of your own time:

1.       Take a proper lunch break.  Read something interesting, get some fresh air and take a walk.  You’ll be surprised how much more refreshed you will feel when you go back to work.

2.      Engage in stress reduction.  Take several short breaks during the day to close your eyes, breathe deeply and say “relax” to yourself when you exhale as you imagine a pleasant scene.  Overwork and stress are detrimental to your mental and physical health.

3.      Leave work on time and enjoy your evening.  Enjoy your relationships whether with a significant other or with your children. They will all appreciate it and you will feel better and more relaxed when you retire for the night.

4.      Give yourself mental permission to enjoy your own time.  You can affirm to yourself that “I work best when I care for myself”.  If you repeat it several times, before long you will get in the habit of working your proper hours.  AND YOU WILL ENJOY YOUR LIFE MORE.

As always, remember that when you Change Your Thoughts You Change Your Results. Good luck on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related issues, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com

CAN GRADUATION BE STRESSFUL TO YOUTH?

Well, it's near that time of graduation again. Millions of high school and college students will be going through their commencement ceremonies.  The students will be excited about receiving their degrees and moving on to the next step in their lives.  Those next steps might be further education or employment. Relief from the immediate stressors of school work, deadlines, exams, and grades will be welcomed by many graduates.  Now, how could that be stressful? Well, there is a critical question. What comes next? Once the traditional stressors are gone, to what new level of normality does the graduate adjust?  

It is worthwhile to remember that commencement (graduation) is an academic and social custom that symbolizes a rite of passage. Commencement imposes your own expectation to achieve and society's expectation that you will perform well in the next phase, whether work or continuing education.  Fear of failure and inherent shame are several of the consequences if the graduate does not meet the internal or external definitions of success post-commencement.  In fact, I have been working in psychotherapy with a client whose depressive symptoms and issues in part related to having graduated from college in the previous year and suffering the loss of the social contacts, feeling the pressure to obtain and maintain employment, and wondering if he is up to the challenges of this new phase of his life.

A consequence of commencement for many graduates is stress.  We discuss all aspects of stress in our book (I Can't Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn't Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.) available on Amazon at  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056 .  For more details about the book and the authors, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com .   In fact, a new term has been coined for a constellation of symptoms describing the anxiety, depression and stress associated with the fear of the unknown inherent in commencement.  That term is Post Commencement Stress Disorder (PCSD).  PCSD was discussed in some detail in an interesting article by Dr. Bernard Luskin, LMFT, in Psychology Today several years ago.  PCSD is a term for a constellation of symptoms affecting new graduates in transition facing the task of choosing, changing or pursuing a career, as well as adjusting to a new phase of life..  Completing a degree brings both opportunity and insecurity to many new graduates as they pursue new plans, goals, and careers.  

Symptoms of PCSD can include:

Feelings you are not in control of your life.

Feeling a lack of support after commencement.

Feelings of failure if you can not find work in your area after a reasonable search time.

Generalized anxiety and tension.

Sleep problems.

Irritability.

Avoidance of normal activities.

Graduation can be a stressful time although meant to be a happy time for graduates. However, whatever the causes of PCSD, there are several steps you can take to help facilitate the transition:

Make a plan.  Take a look at what you want the first 3-6 months post graduation to be and implement a plan.  It does not matter what you choose, from an internship to a vacation. The idea is to have a plan of action that helps you organize your time and reduce the anxiety and worry which accompany the feeling of "floating" in your life.

Keep your priorities in perspective.  When it comes to the anxiety over next steps after graduation, remember that you are not alone. There are millions of new graduates each year and the job outlook has improved over the last few years.  It is always important to keep things in perspective as you organize for the struggles of the demands of the next step in your life. Whether you have graduated from college and go on to employment or from high school and are going to college, consider the following.  Create a budget and that will help you lessen the fear of mismanaging your money and can help develop new financial targets and goals. If your ideal job doesn't occur, consider working in areas where you can accumulate reasonable experience to help make that ideal situation happen.  

Confront the future.  As mentioned earlier when discussing make a plan, take action as to what point you want to achieve over the next several months.  It is critical to take some action.  If you focus on a job or school program related to your field of study or interests, it is better than taking no action.  Taking no action will result in the symptoms noted above.  Self esteem and self worth are related to behaviors. Generate positive action and positive feelings will follow. Avoid negative self talk at all costs.  Thinking that "Things will never work out for me" or similar statements will do more to keep you stuck in PCSD than almost anything else.  

As always, stress is a choice we make by how we look at, plan for, and react to the situations in our lives. Stress can happen even associated with happy events. But, you can avoid PCSD.  I wish you well on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For more information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

CHRONIC AND SEVERE STRESS IN CHILDHOOD

A continuing issue in the news over the past months has been interest in and concern about the effects on immigrant children on our southern borders of separating them from their parents.  But what do we know about such effects of stress?  There are many health care providers who believe that ongoing stress during early childhood can harm childrens' brains and other body systems. Such stressors can include severe poverty, neglect, sudden traumatic separation from parents, parents' substance abuse and/or mental illness, and familial dysfunction. There also are research findings consistent with the conclusion that chronic and severe stress in childhood can lead to some of the major causes of death and disease in adulthood, including heart attacks and diabetes.  These findings have been reported in mainstream media, to include a news article in US News and World Report from July 12, 2017 (Stress Can Affect a Child in a Major Way, by Lindsey Tanner).  

Many providers are increasingly adopting what is called "trauma-informed" care.  The approach starts with the premise that extreme stress or trauma can cause brain changes that may interfere with learning, explain troubling behavior, and endanger health. The goal is to identify affected children and families and provide services to treat or prevent continued stress.These services can include stress reduction for children such as breathing exercises, parenting classes, addiction treatment for parents, school and police-based programs, and psychotherapy.

Scientific findings have shown that the brain and disease-fighting immune system are not fully formed at birth and can be damaged by childhood adversity. The first three years are thought to be the most critical, and children lacking nurturing parents or other close relatives to help them cope with adversity are most at risk.

It is important to keep in mind that we are discussing chronic and severe stress during childhood.  Under normal stress situations (for a young child that could be getting a shot or hearing a loud thunderstorm), the stress response is initiated resulting in brief rises in heart rate and elevated cortisol levels and other stress hormones. When the stress subsides or stops, the child's heart rate and cortisol levels return to a more normal level.   However, when stress is severe and chronic, those levels may remain elevated, putting children in a persistent "fight or flight" mode.  

In the article referenced, it was noted that recent studies suggest that chronic/severe stress changes the body's metabolism and contributes to internal inflammation, which can raise risk for developing diabetes and heart disease. In 2015, Brown University researchers reported finding elevated levels of inflammatory markers in saliva of children who had experienced abuse or other adversity.  Also, experiments in animals and humans also suggest persistent stress may alter brain structure in regions affecting emotions and regulating behavior.  This is true for both children and adults.  

As is true for much of science, there is some disagreement among scientists about whether this phenomenon really exists for children given the state of research.  However, given that such findings occur for adults as well, it is reasonable to conclude that exposure to chronic/severe stress during childhood might have such negative health consequences.Much of the recent interest stems from landmark U.S. government-led research published in 1998 called the Adverse Childhood Experiences study. It found that adults exposed to neglect, poverty, violence, substance abuse, parents' mental illness and other domestic dysfunction were more likely than others to have heart problems, diabetes, depression and asthma. In other words, they had experienced more stress.  In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics supports the theory and in 2012 issued recommendations urging pediatricians to educate parents and the public about the long-term consequences of toxic stress and to push for new policies and treatments to prevent it or reduce its effects.

It is time to focus on screening and intervention in children at risk for the negative consequences of chronic and severe stress.  If you want more information on stress and its effects on your life and that of your family, you can acquire our book on this topic (I Can't Take it Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn't Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., P.H.N.), available through Amazon at  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056.  If you want more information about the authors and the book, please see our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

Best wishes on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

TIPS FOR MANAGING STRESSORS IN YOUTH

Many adults forget how stressful life can be for children and teenagers. In fact, recent surveys have indicated that children and teens have reported over a 40% increase in felt stress in the last two decades characterized by increased worry over the situations in their lives. At one level, difficult situations are a part of life. They usually rise to the level of perceived stress when we feel unable to handle them and begin to experience the cognitive, emotional, and physical manifestations of the stress response identified by Hans Selye decades ago. We discuss all aspects of the stress response in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.) available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For more information about the authors, book, and other information on stress management, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

Causes of stress in the young often center around school to include increased expectations for them to cope on their own without their parents, demanding schedules, new schools, and money concerns. Many of these challenges are time limited and tolerable as our youth take the opportunities to learn and practice healthy coping responses. Normal stressors can include making new friends, taking exams, moving from one school/neighborhood to another. Generally, the anxiety surrounding these more normal stressors reduces when the situation changes. However, sometimes more severe and lasting stress responses follow issues of parental conflict and divorce as well as bullying whether in person or in cyberspace. Toxic childhood stress responses can occur when the young person is exposed to prolonged stressful events without adequate adult support. In fact, in my clinical work I too often have observed parents including children in their marital conflicts and monetary challenges. It is vital for parents to be mindful not to do this as this is not your child’s stressor, it is yours. Leave them out of it.

People do not respond to stressors in the same way. However, what we feel leads to a body reaction. As one of my former professors noted, “There is no such thing as unexpressed resentment”. Our emotions are expressed one way or another, often in the form of adverse physical reactions.

So what can youth themselves as well as parents do to help reduce prolonged and toxic stress reactions? For parents, you can become a good listener and source of support as well as to adhere to the admonition above to leave youth out of your issues except perhaps to model good coping and communication. Young people can be very emotionally labile given the physiological changes occurring for them. They often tend to catastrophize about setbacks sometimes even minor ones. Help them reframe their cognitive reactions, keep events in perspective, and learn from their challenges. It has been said that “Every event is an opportunity for growth when looked at from the perspective of self development”. Encourage youth to connect to a support group. Even young children can and have been taught to incorporate proper breathing and mindfulness approaches to reduce their felt stress and anxiety. Children and teens desperately seek to belong and need support and acceptance from their peers. Encourage involvement in activities where they can learn social and communicational skills. Foster regular exercise practices as well as following a healthy diet. Don’t forget to see that they get an adequate night’s sleep of at least 7-8 hours. There is abundant research evidence consistent with the observation that children and teens need more sleep while growing and developing. Actually, in other posts I have written on the recommendations some professionals have made to start the school day later to accommodate the need for youth to sleep.

Youth does not have to be a time of severe and toxic stress. It can be a time of learning, fun, and socializing. It can be a time where young people learn that life’s challenges are normal and can be experienced without undue emotional reaction. It can be a time where we empower them to learn how to cope adaptively with all life’s events and increase their sense of coping and mastery. Let’s all do what we can do to maximize their positive experience.

Good luck in your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For additional information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

DEPRESSION AND CONNECTEDNESS IN THE YOUNG

We all have been saddened these past years by school shootings committed by youth. There has been discussion of the possible role of depression in the youths who committed these shootings. Unrecognized and/or undiagnosed depression is rampant.  Estimates of depression co-occurring with medical complaints in primary care clinics range from 30-60% depending on the study. For youth, there are estimates of over 30-40% of adolescents reporting significant depression during the last year.

It probably will not be known whether or how prominent or not depression was as a factor in young shooters’ actions.  It also will not be known soon how well connected socially the young shooters are. I certainly don’t mean through social media where the connections often are superficial, sometimes anonymous, and too often bullying. .  Rather, my point is to highlight the often unrecognized role depression plays in the lives of many young persons and how important it is for all of us to recognize depression in ourselves and the young around us.  

We all have down days periodically.  That is not necessarily clinical depression  Rather clinical depression occurs when we experience depressed mood frequently to the extent that it interferes with our social, educational, or vocational life. 

More significant levels of depression include the following symptoms:

Depressed mood most of the day; feeling sad or empty, tearful

Significant loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to be enjoyable

Significant weight loss (when not dieting) or weight gain; decrease or increase in appetite

Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much

Agitation; or slowing down of thoughts and reduction of physical movements

Fatigue or loss of energy

Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt

Poor concentration or having difficulty making decisions

Thinking about death or suicide

Five or more of these symptoms occurring daily for two or more weeks may well constitute a major depressive episode and the need for treatment.  Even lesser degrees of clinical severity warrant attention.  

In the mental health field, it also has long been known that even the presence of one confidante buffers to some extent the onset/degree of clinical depression. The confidante is defined as someone with whom we can share our most closely held inner thoughts.  This role of social support moderates the effect of life stresses for us.

So when will you attend to possible signs of depression in yourself and the young in your world?  After all, there is help available.  When would be a good time to examine your childrens’ social network and degree of social connectedness, both at school and in their personal lives? They affect your well being and health more than you might think. Unrecognized and/or poorly treated depression costs billions of dollars in lost productivity each year as well as lessened well being for all.  Consider if your children hold possibly untrue and unhelpful thoughts that might be interfering with their life, e.g. "I'm not a good person", "No one likes me".

As always, change your thoughts, change your results.  For additional information on stress as it contributes to depression, please see our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available at Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056 . For additional information about the authors, book, and website, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

Good luck on your journey.

Dr. Longobardi

For additional information on this and other topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

HOW CAN OUR YOUTH OVERCOME LIMITING THOUGHTS?

Right now the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) teachers are striking over multiple issues to include pay and classroom size. However, less noted are issues of school personnel shortages such as nurses and psychologists. Why would we need more school psychologists you ask? Well, I think any follower of the news has seen and been concerned by the spate of school violence and shootings. Other commentators have noted youth bad behavior in sports to include everything from disrespecting coaches and taunting to physical altercations with other players and fans.   Dr. Andrew Yellen, a sports psychologist and former high school football coach, recommended parents demand accountability.  According to Dr. Yellen, parents often respond, "But they won't like me", to which Dr. Yellen said "It's insane,  what you do is, there's a reward, and if you don't there's a consequence".  The bottom line was that the author recommended more strictness from school personnel since  "not everybody has the self-control or self-confidence to walk away and use that memory as motivation at an appropriate time".  

Now I have no argument with such commentators as far as it goes.  Accountability and standard setting certainly are helpful.  But have we gone far enough?  I don't think so.  In that telling last sentence by Dr. Yellen, the issues of self-control and self-confidence were invoked.  We hear daily of a litany of poorly controlled behaviors whether in sports or everyday life.  Professional athletes are criticized, sanctioned, and prosecuted for many behaviors including hurting others on and off the field.  Road rage is all but a new psychiatric diagnosis, bullying in schools and on the internet is rampant, and numerous reality shows highlight the overreaction of the participants when confronted with emotional stresses. Is it not likely that the common themes for these behavioral overreactions are the thoughts people have about themselves and others?

What actually is the foundation on which is built your own degree of self-control and self-confidence? Based on modern cognitive therapy, I would contend it is the series of thoughts and beliefs we have over our lives about our experiences which coalesce into the core beliefs which guide our reactions to specific situations.  So, for example, when my 6’6” high school basketball Coach Harry glared at me and told me I was not playing good defense and took me out of the game to sit on the bench, I had several ways to react based on my thoughts, i.e. what I say to myself.  One reaction was to tell myself that the coach's feedback may or may not be true, he is in charge, I often play better, and I'll get back in at some point.  The result: unlikely that I will become highly upset. However, in reaction two, I tell myself that the coach has insulted me, denigrated my self worth, and that I can't stand it (which is unlikely the coach was saying anyway).  Then, the probable result is high upset and distress.  If such beliefs as in reaction two have been reinforced and/or encouraged in me by parents or others, my distressed reaction and likely "bad behavior" is increased even more (P.S.  I chose reaction one and got back into the game a little later with more defensive success). I and my co-author discuss these issues at length in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. If you want to know more about the authors and book as well as other information on stress, you can visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

So what is the moral of this story?  It is that people's emotional reactions and behaviors can be predicted by listening to how they explain setbacks to themselves, whether they are young or old.  This finding has been observed in research studies on predicting salesperson behavior, which frequently involves setbacks and rejection.  But what about young people?

There always is more than one possible conclusion to make about something unpleasant which has happened.  However, all too often you may not examine the possibilities and tell yourself a thought far less catastrophic.  Instead, it is not uncommon for us to regularly conclude that because a setback has occurred must mean that you are not good, not capable, are being insulted, or can't stand it (which you can even if you don't like it).  Such thoughts lead to the conclusion that you must retaliate verbally or physically.  Maybe we should be teaching our youth how to overcome limiting/negative/catastrophic thoughts which lead to overreaction and produce problems for them in life in all areas such as work, sports, family, and interpersonal relationships.  Do we not owe this to them?  Don't we try to teach them everything else?  How about some ways of thinking to handle setbacks/disappointments/frustrations without rage, physical assaults, or verbal attacks?  At least in the area of sports, as the author of a recent LA Times article indicated, "it might be better to hire a sports psychologist to figure out what's going on instead of hiring more school police?"  Might that not be true of LAUSD as well?

I think it's time we teach our youth, if not ourselves as well, how to overcome limiting thoughts leading to overreactions.  As always, change your thoughts and change your results.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For more information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

SHOULD YOUR CHILDREN LEARN MINDFULNESS FOR STRESS REDUCTION?

In my past posts as well as in other media there has been growing discussion about and awareness of the benefits of activities such as yoga, meditation, and deep breathing exercises. These are all strategies which help us focus on the present moment.  Most frequently, the discussion has centered around workplace issues.  There is a body of research showing that the above exercises lower stress, reduce anxiety, improve sleep and general health, and reduce depression and pain.  Meditators have been shown to have increased brain activity in areas known to induce calmning effects, such as the anterior cingulate cortex.  Calm breathing triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which reduces stress through slowing heart rate and lowering blood pressure.  I and my co-author reviewed all this material in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.) available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For more details about the authors, book, and stress management, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com But for all this work, less attention had been paid to the potential positive effects of mindfulness strategies for children.  That has been changing with articles such as in Time Magazine for October 3, 2016, titled "The Mindful Classroom" by Mandy Oaklander, as well as multiple online articles such as "Why Children Need Mindfulness Just As Much as Adults Do" by Carolyn Gregoire of the Huffington Post for June 3, 2014.  

Being mindful essentially is the ability to sustain a focused awareness on the present moment. Mindfulness practice has been shown to increase our abilities to focus and attend.  It may be as effective for children as it is for adults.  Research is accumulating to demonstrate that mindfulness has positive effects for many challenges children confront.  Children increasingly face stress and this can affect their health including as adults.  In Gregoire's article, reference was made to a University of Florida study that found that "stressful events can impact a child's health and well-being almost immediately, and can contribute to the development of physical and mental health problems and learning disabilities".  Children suffer increasingly from anxiety and diagnoses for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) also are increasing each year.  

Most research on mindfulness with children has been done in school settings.  There is evidence that youngsters as young as 4 years who practice the skills have reduced test anxiety and fewer ADHD symptoms.  There also has been noted improved sleep quality and math scores.  Various authors have suggested that the positive effects can include social skills such as improved compassion and kindness. There have been benefits in studies with children with ADHD in reducing disruptive behaviors.  Mindfulness programs achieve incremental benefit when the teachers and/or parents also engage in such training.

To give an idea of ways to involve children in mindfulness, here are five of Sarah Rudell Beach's from her post titled "8 Ways to Teach Mindfulness to Kids" in the Huffington Post for September 22, 2014:

1. Listen to the bell. An easy way for children to practice mindfulness is to focus on paying attention to what they can hear. You can use a bell or a set of chimes. Tell your child that you will make the sound, and they should listen carefully until they can no longer hear the sound (which is usually 30 seconds to a minute).

2. Practice with a breathing buddy. For young children, an instruction to simply “pay attention to the breath” may be hard to follow.  One way is for each student to grab a stuffed animal, and then lie down on their back with their buddy on their belly. They focus their attention on the rise and fall of the stuffed animal as they breathe in and out.  Other ways include placing one hand on the chest and one on the belly to allow the child to follow and focus on their breathing.

3. Make your walks mindful. Go on a “noticing walk.” As you walk in the neighborhood, notice things you haven’t seen before.  A favorite of my grand daughter when she was young was to do the exercise "I spy with my eye something . . ." and then encourage her attention.  You also can designate one minute of the walk to be completely silent and simply pay attention to all the sounds you can hear.

4. Establish a gratitude practice. Gratitude is a fundamental component of mindfulness, teaching children to appreciate the abundance in their lives, as opposed to focusing on all their material possessions.   

5. Practice mindful eating. The exercise of mindfully eating a raisin or a piece of chocolate is a staple of mindfulness education, and is a great activity for kids. 

If we can combine teaching children to overcome limiting thoughts with teaching mindfulness strategies, we can raise a new generation of children well able to manage their stresses, be happier, and get along better with others.  Good luck to all on the journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related posts, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

Five Tips on How to Maintain a Positive Mindset in the New Year

We all intend to keep positive and frequently make New Year's resolutions to do.  Like so many other resolutions, we often have no specific idea how to do what we resolve and no plan as well.  Often, this lack of resolve and plan result in feelings of frustration, tension, stress, and disappointment. We berate and criticize ourselves. But it does not have to be this way. We discuss the importance of mindset and other issues in reducing your feelings of stress in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore; How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D.,and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For more information about the authors, book, and other information on stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com. However, for now, to help you maintain your most positive mindset in this new year, see below for five tips which will help you when you implement them.   

1.       Be grateful for what you do have.  Even when you are going through challenges, there are many things for which you can be grateful.  Take several minutes at the start and end of each day to recognize those things.

2.      Understand and accept that you will have challenges, everyone does.  Treat the challenge as specific (not general), unstable (doesn’t always happen) and external (not internal and a reflection of your deficiencies). You will blame yourself far less often.

3.      Surround yourself with positive people.  The people you have around you have a big impact on you in terms of how you see yourself, how successful you are, and how you spend your time.  If all you hear is negativity that is what you will come to think.  Make a conscious effort to be around more positive people.

4.      Have a clear plan for your day and week.  As the old saying goes, “If you don’t know what route to take to Rome, any one will do but you won’t get there”.  The same is true for your life.  If you know what you want to accomplish, you will focus more on those goals.  Daily plans lead to weekly goals and you will accomplish more.

5.      Have an exercise plan.  It is well known that regular exercise contributes to mental health as well as physical health.  It combats depression and improves your mood.  Build this activity into your daily routine, preferably in the morning. 

     So, I suggest you start by implementing one tip per week over the next five weeks and then incorporate them into your daily routine.  Good luck.  Remember, change your thoughts, change your results. 

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related topics, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com

Three Tips on How You Can Use Neuroscience to Implement New Year's Resolutions AKA Goals

Well, it's that time of year again.  Many of us are setting new goals for ourselves.  Why is it that so often we neither persist with nor achieve them?  Alas, out of the few people who do set goals, most don't take goal setting seriously, don't do it scientifically, and do it only once each year.  In all my work with coaching clients, client consultees, and patients, I always emphasize and teach goal setting and mindset change first.  Only then do I deal with issues of problem solving, decision making, time management, or any other area.  Until your specialized knowledge area is combined with goals and mindset, your knowledge will not allow you to accomplish much or maintain any changes made for very long.  You will feel anxious, frustrated, and stressed. We discuss these issues in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore; How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D.,and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For more information about the authors, book, and related information on stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.

So what can neuroscience tell us about goal setting?  

1.  Repetition is a good way to embed a goal in your non-conscious mind.  I've always been told that "repetition is the mother of all learning".  However, it's also true for goal setting as well.  It turns out that neuroimaging of the brain shows us that initially setting a goal is a conscious activity.  However, it is in the non-conscious mind areas that behaviors become consolidated to the point of being unconscious and automatic, what we know as habits.  In fact, becoming unconsciously competent is a cornerstone of success for many people, and occurs through repetition.  New neural patterns form only after they've been repeated enough times.  If you make resolutions and don't continue to repeat and reinforce your desire for these goals, then no new neural connections are made and no new habits occur.  The best example of this is the frequent resolution by people to lose weight in the new year.  The goal is not repeated regularly and does not strengthen in the brain.  It also is true that 21-30 days are needed to consolidate a new habit on a neurological basis.  When you repeat your goals again and again, programming occurs in the subconscious mind.  You are best advised to rewrite your goals daily, think about them positively, repeat them, and visualize them occurring.  You can't force this.  It needs to be a process of creating new patterns of thinking and visualizing, as well as clearing away self doubts (mindset issue). So, it's not the resolution that you set once but the thoughts and visual images you focus on all day that create your new long term behavioral change by making the behaviors unconscious and automatic, i.e. a habit.

2.  Use emotion to create energy for your goal.  The strength and number of neural connections associated with a thought or behavior increase when you're in an emotional state. Unfortunately, too often this process occurs for negative thoughts and behaviors reinforcing avoidance and escape.  But it can work as well for positive thoughts and behaviors. Neuroimaging findings indicate that neural connections are stronger when formed with high emotion.  This also is why many "casually" formed resolutions fail as they are set with no emotion.  You're prone to become ambivalent, uncertain, and intermittent in carrying out your goal, particularly at the first obstacle.  Do not take goal setting lightly or casually.  Whatever your goal is, it's about your life and that's important. We know you can rewire your brain.  All the research in brain plasticity tells us so.  

3.  Take your goal setting seriously.  Rewrite goals daily.  Think about them constantly. Visualize yourself accomplishing them.  Then take massive action to accomplish them and soon your behaviors will become automatic.

But for now, make this the most successful year of your life.  

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For additional information on these and related topics, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com.

Why Schedule Your Success for the New Year?

Well, the New Year is soon upon us and we'll be inundated with talk of resolutions, even though most resolutions are discarded within the first month of the new year.  Why is it that some of what we think of as our best intentions do not happen? What are a few thoughts as to how you can make your goals become a reality for you?  One strategy is to schedule your success. 

I have spent weekend days saying how much I will get done and then find that I spent the time reading the newspaper, checking Facebook, going for a walk, until the day is gone.  I thought that I had made a decision to get some work done.  Alas, neuroscience tells us (and me!) that there is an illusory quality to the concept of "decision making".  It is only an abstract object in our minds. As such, I never really experience the "weekend" but rather one moment after another.  In each moment, I never directed myself behaviorally to take action.  Other actions, as noted above, took precedence, were more comfortable, presented less resistance to me. Often, this results in feeling anxious, stressed, and frustrated. We discuss these issues at length in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available for purchase on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. If you want more information about the authors, book, and other information related to stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com

So when are we the most productive and follow through the most with our intentions?  It is during those times which are scheduled.  When you act based on a schedule, there is nothing better than the desired action.  If I exercise at 7 AM every day, I don't have to think about what should I do or when should I do it.  If you compare this to an intention to "exercise tomorrow", there is all manner of activity in which I can engage, e.g. drinking another cup of coffee, watching the TV news, etc. giving me resistance to my intention to exercise.  When we think about decision making, note that if we have not created a clear, defined, and strong behavioral pattern to perform an action, it does not occur.  This is particularly true when our intended action goes up against well developed patterns of coffee drinking, reading the newspaper, watching TV, etc.  If you want to do a certain act, don't worry about "self discipline" or motivation.  Schedule the act specifically, condition yourself to do it without fail, and after 21 days minimum it will become a habit like so many others we have.

I'm sure you've heard how most people spend more time planning and scheduling their vacation than other areas of their lives such as careers, family, finances, etc.  You don't have to become a "time nut" to schedule your success.  Just pick one or two goal areas important to you, perhaps exercise or improving your financial knowledge, and schedule regular times to do the activity.  The time does not have to be excessive.  In the examples I just gave, starting with 15 minutes a day per activity would be great if you're currently at zero time.  Just schedule it and stay with it for three weeks, you're on your way.

Best wishes for your scheduled success.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

Use Neuroscience to Reduce Stress and Improve Goal Setting in the Workplace

Most of us have heard that it's a good idea to reduce workplace stress.  In my last post, I discussed ways to reduce stress and increase team cohesion. However, I certainly have spoken to managers who say that stress motivates their employees to produce more.  I remember in graduate school learning about the finding that a certain degree of anxiety motivates performance but that too much anxiety interferes with performance.  So just what is too much stress? How can you use neuroscience to reduce stress and improve your own goal setting and that of any employees or supervisees? Recent research gives us good reason to focus on reducing workplace stress levels.  This has to do both with productivity as well as health since millions of dollars are lost each year in American business secondary to workplace stress. 

In a study from Germany, scientists from at the Institute for Cognitive Neuroscience worked with the University Hospital Bergmannsheil to reproduce a stress situation in the body using drugs and then examined the associated brain activity using MRI scans. For the volunteer research participants, the production of two stress hormones (hydrocortisone and noradrenaline)  worked to shut down the activity of brain regions for goal-directed behavior. Those regions that control habitual behavior remained unaffected.

The conclusion was that when we are stressed, we return to old patterns of behavior to include our normal habits instead of a focus on goals.  We lose our goal directedness and revert to more habitual patterns of thinking and behaving.  The combined effect of the hormones produced the behavioral change by reducing activity in the forebrain (orbitofrontal and medial prefrontal cortex.)

In the workplace we want to facilitate goal-directed behavior.  Goals are the indices that help organisations work towards their over-arching mission and vision. They are the means of creating action steps.  Goals help individuals, teams and departments within an organisation to know which direction they need to take next and what is expected of them.

Managers, leaders, entrepreneurs, and small business owners would be advised to keep these research findings in mind when creating and communicating work goals and targets for their employees.  A major component of leadership is being able to communicate effectively with staff and team members.  When stress levels are too high, goal directedness and attainment suffer as well as the health and well being of team members.

If you would like to learn more about how stress effects you in your life and how you can handle it more effectively, check out my co-authored book (I Can't Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn't Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.).  The book is available through Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056  If you would like more information about the book and the authors, visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com    

Best wishes for your success.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

www.successandmindset.com

Three Tips on Reducing Stress and Increasing Workplace Cohesion During the Holidays

Well, it is the holiday time of the year again.  You're trying to run your business in the midst of holiday excitement, stress, and some distractibility on the part of employees.  Yet, team cohesion, or that sense of "we-ness" and being part of a supportive organization, should not be ignored at this time of year.  If you do so, you risk having employees feeling more stress and less connection to the company culture and mission.  In our book (I Can't Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn't Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), we discuss all aspects of stress to include its impact on work organizations.  It is available through Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056  and could be one of the best gifts you could give your loves ones and employees at this time of year.  If you want to learn more about the book and the authors, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.  

So what are some easily implemented actions you can take during this holiday season to reduce stress and increase employee motivation and cohesion? Here are three strategies:

1.  Show appreciation during the holidays.  As mentioned earlier, it's a stressful time of the year. It’s important to remember to recognize and appreciate your employees.  You can express this in several ways from less to more expensive.  You can let them know your appreciation during an appropriate meeting.  You could send them thank you cards noting your appreciation. Depending on the size of your group, you can take them out to lunch or dinner.  This was a personal favorite of mine when I was in management and took the team out and let them know how grateful I was for their work, loyalty, and commitment to the organization..  It always was highly appreciated.    

2.  Create a congenial and friendly environment.  Realizing that the holiday season is a busy and hectic one for employees, you can ensure that the workplace is a welcoming, relaxed, and enjoyable place for your employees to be.  Nobody needs to come to a chaotic and tense workplace at any time of the year.  During the holiday season it is even worse.  Seek to create a cohesive venue showing appreciation as discussed in the first strategy.  Also remember to be aware of yourself.  You always set the tone for the mood of the company.  Take care to manage your own stress levels.  If you are frenetic that will affect others.  Model the positivity you want from others and you will get it.  

3.  Consider a holiday event in the workplace.  No matter what are the personal beliefs of your employees, you can create a company or team event to foster team cohesion and bring together your employees in a positive manner.  I have been in management settings where there have been large organizational events on site but also where departments or teams had smaller events on site.  Be sure not to place too much responsibility on employees for the event or it can become only one more stressing event during the holidays.  I always found it appreciated by all who attended.

Remember that the way you handle the holiday season serves to wrap up the current year and kick off the next year.  Consider what message you want to send during this time.  It is a golden opportunity to build a higher level of team cohesion while having some fun. 

May your holiday season be enjoyable.  Best of luck on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on these and related topics, please go to my website at www.successandmindset.com.

Five Tips to Reduce Your Stress and Improve Your Success in the New Year

We all intend to keep positive and frequently make New Year's resolutions to do.  Like so many other resolutions, we often have no specific idea how to do what we resolve and no plan as well.  This often leads to needless stress and frustration.  To help you reduce your stress and maintain your most positive mindset in this new year, see below for five tips which will help you if you implement them.   We discuss all these and more in our book (I Can't Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn't Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.) available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056

If you would like more information about the book and the authors, please visit our website at   http://www.manageyourhealthandstress.com Help yourself and your loved ones get off to a great start to the new year and consider acquiring the book.  Here are the tips:

1.       Be grateful for what you do have.  Even when you are going through challenges, there are many things for which you can be grateful.  Take several minutes at the start and end of each day to recognize those things.

2.      Understand and accept that you will have challenges, everyone does.   Treat the challenge as specific (not general), unstable (doesn’t always happen) and external (not internal and a reflection of your deficiencies).

3.      Surround yourself with positive people.  The people you have around you have a big impact on you in terms of how you see yourself, how successful you are, and how you spend your time.  If all you hear is negativity that is what you will come to think.  Make a conscious effort to be around more positive people.

4.      Have a clear plan for your day and week.  As the old saying goes, “If you don’t know what route to take to Rome, any one will do but you won’t get there”.  The same is true for your life.  If you know what you want to accomplish, you will focus more on those goals.  Daily plans lead to weekly goals and you will accomplish more.

5.      Have an exercise plan.  It is well known that regular exercise contributes to mental health as well as physical health.  It combats depression and improves your mood.  Build this activity into your daily routine, preferably in the morning. 

     So, I suggest you start by implementing one tip per week over the next five weeks and then incorporate them into your daily routine.  Good luck.  Remember, change your thoughts, change your results. 

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For more information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

HOW DO YOU MANAGE THE STRESSES OF DEMENTIA CAREGIVING?

More than 16 million Americans serve as unpaid caregivers to someone with a dementia condition, such as Alzheimer’s Disease. That number is expected to grow in the coming decades. Are you one of them? Much research has indicated that caregivers suffer from high levels of physical, financial, and mental burden. In particular, they suffer higher levels of stress and depression than caregivers for other conditions, such as those with a chronic medical condition. Some of the challenge involves the all encompassing nature of caring for someone with a progressive disorder such as Alzheimer’s, involving full time care. There often is little to no opportunity for respite for the caregivers, who increasingly are older themselves. It has been documented that over 1/3 of caregivers are over 65 years of age. In our book on stress management (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056, we discuss many strategies to help you better manage the challenges of life. For more information on the authors, the book, and other information on stress, please see our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com. However, recently I saw a short article in Time Magazine for 11/5/18 by Jamie Ducharme titled “The silent struggles of Alzheimer’s care”. Six strategies to help caregivers were noted and I thought them worthwhile to mention here:

1. Stay mindful. There have been studies showing that mindfulness training, i.e. keeping your focus in the moment, helped dementia caregivers accept their own emotions and those of their loved one.

2. Address stress. Finding positive ways to handle stress, such as meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, can help caregivers manage their physical and emotional challenges while caregiving. We discuss all these in our book.

3. Talk about it. It always is good to seek emotional and social support from others. None of us can handle our life challenges to include caregiving all by ourselves. Reach out to others and use support groups which are available in most communities. Just talking about our frustrations and challenges can be liberating to our psychological spirits.

4. Prioritize your health. It is important to eat well, get some exercise, sleep well, to provide the mental and physical energy to cope with the challenges of caregiving. These have been shown to help lift mood and reduce stress.

5. Seek training. There are many educational materials as well as professionals who can help caregivers learn how to deal with dementia conditions and suggest adjustments to make in the home. The Alzheimer’s Association (www.alz.org) has many trainings and opportunities for support available.

6. Use local resources. As noted in the Time article, beyond support groups, communities offer programs such as meal delivery, transportation, and sometimes even respite opportunities for caregivers.

With the increasing incidence of dementing disorders there will be increasing need for caregivers who must learn how to care for themselves during the process. Fortunately, there are means to do so. If you are a caregiver or know one, help them or yourself plan for the role.

As always, best wishes on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For more information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com

FOUR INFLUENCES ON HOW MUCH STRESS YOU CAN MANAGE

How much stress can you manage? You can answer that for yourself.  However, some people take on far too much responsibility and stress and are long overdue for a stress related health crisis. It got me thinking about how we manage our own life demands, whether large or small. How much stress is too much?

We all know that each of us is unique with a set of life experiences which may help or hinder us in managing life stresses.  In fact, we go into great detail on this in our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.) available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For information about the book, authors, and other information on stress, please see our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com. But for our purposes here, there are other factors which affect our vulnerability to stress. These include our personality, hardiness, self-efficacy, and core beliefs about events (attributions).  

Type A & Type B Personality. Over 40 years ago, cardiologists Friedman and Rosenman described two personality types with differing proneness to risk for heart attack. The person with a Type A personality is competitive, wants to be recognized, seeks development and advancement, looks to achieve goals and tends to rush in order to finish tasks. Does this sound like anyone you know? On the other hand, the person with Type B personality was opposite to that of the Type A person. It's not that the Type B person has no motivation but rather is described as calm, relaxed and non-competitive. In a longitudinal study with males, the cardiologists found that there was far greater incidence of heart attack in the Type A group. Individuals classified as Type B managed stress better than Type A persons. Many stress management programs include components to help individuals become more calm and relaxed, such as the Type B group.

Hardiness. It is well known that part of the negative stress response involves a feeling of loss of control over your world, whether personal or work. People described as "hardy" have been found to have three characteristics: 1) Control - you see yourself in charge of your world and not the reverse; 2) Commitment - you confront problems and won't stop until you solve them; and 3) Challenge - you see change in your life not as a threat but rather as a challenge. In studies of people divided into "hardy" and "non-hardy", results have shown that the hardy groups were less frequently ill and responded to stressors in a more positive way. Do you employ the three C's in your world in coping with life's stressors?

Self-Efficacy. This term was used by Dr. Albert Bandura whose work I studied as a graduate student. Self-efficacy refers to a person's tendency to perceive a sense of mastery in a stressful situation. Instead of saying "I can't handle this", the self-efficacious person has a history of experiences leading them to feel able to confront stress situations more positively and say "I am able to handle stress and I can handle this one as well". This all has to do with your internal beliefs. If you have low self-efficacy, you are more likely to have more negative feelings under stress and manage events less well. Would you describe your view of self in stress situations as one of self-efficacy?

Core beliefs. These are similar to the concept of self-efficacy but more broad in terms of your life. Core beliefs are your more general beliefs about your likeability and capability in many areas of your life. Your beliefs enable or limit you. They create a negative reaction to stress or limit the negative reaction. If your view of you is one of self-doubt and self-deprecation, you will have a more difficult time dealing with a challenge such as an illness, relationship problem, or work demand. Are you able to question your negative or limiting beliefs? If so, you will manage your stressors more positively.

We all have a capacity to change.  Numerous studies have shown that even under the most stressful circumstances, the physiological manifestations of stress (hypercortisol levels, for example) can be changed by manipulating the psychological context of the stress and the attributes given it by you.  These include personality, hardiness, self-efficacy, and core beliefs. So how much stress is too much?  As you can see, it is not a simple answer and varies by individuals.  However, you can handle more than you might have thought using some of the ideas above.  How well are you doing?  Stress is a choice. You may not be able to avoid a stressful event but you can change your response to it in a more positive way.  

Good luck on your journey.

Dr. Paul Longobardi

For information on this and related topics, visit my website at www.successandmindset.com.