As we begin this new year, most of us look to learn from the past, grow more, and avoid mistakes or tendencies which keep us stuck. Consistent with a mindset approach, individuals who experience more success tend to be able to avoid or successfully dispute troubling thoughts and beliefs. I recently ran across an article I had read years ago by Mara Gold on mental roadblocks to avoid. I am indebted to her for some of the thoughts in what follows. By the way, unhelpful mindsets not only hold us back but set the stage for stressful reactions to life’s situations. If you want to learn more about stress management, please read our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For more information about the book, authors, and stress, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.
Successful people think differently. They see problems as opportunities and know how to leap over obstacles today to successes tomorrow. Often we have to stop stepping on our own toes and find ways to adopt the success mindset that can help us get through the challenging times. Here are some mindsets and mental obstacles you would be wise to avoid if you want to create more successful outcomes:
Blaming the Situation Some of us will always be stuck because we think that the situation has to change before we begin working toward our life goals. One year it is your beat up car with the missing window, the next year it is the economy. There always is another excuse why you do not get started working on your goals and dreams. Unfortunately, complaining about the situation not only gives us an excuse not to work on our dreams but also it creates a vibration that continues to attract these undesirable conditions and root us in failure. Set your mind to making the changes you can that lead you in the direction of your dreams, no matter what is going on around you, and you will attract more solutions. You may not see the solution at first. However, if you are looking and expecting to find a solution you can begin working on, you will see that a success mindset attracts success.
Blaming the Feedback Some of us become stuck because we cannot process and respond to the feedback we receive. If I were to hear that my work is below par I might strike back with excuses and arguments against the feedback or the person who provided the feedback. Like students who blame the test for their failure, we hold ourselves back. Worse than that, we make enemies of those who might help us, who may not give valuable feedback so easily again. People who want to succeed ask for feedback so they can make improvements. Receive feedback gratefully, even when you do not agree, so that others are not afraid to offer advice you might do well to heed. After all, if the feedback does not resonate with you, you can discard it. However, at least hear it with an open mind.
Blaming the Messenger and the Past People who have abdicated responsibility for their life choices can become locked into a mindset where they believe their lives are programmed for failure. They may blame the messages they received in their childhood or a bad marriage for the negative mindset they allow to dominate their outlook. Those with the success mindset do not respond with defeat when faced with a problem. They write and speak the words that will drown out the old programs from the past. They stay focused on their goals and work for their success. They surround themselves with positive messages and embrace friendships and activities that strengthen their well being.
You can stop blaming and start living a more happy and successful life. You can adopt the success mindset that allows people to confront adversity without fear and see through to success. If you keep blaming your situation, the feedback you receive, or the messages you hear for the life you are leading, you risk remaining stuck where you are.
As always, Change your thoughts, Change your life. Good luck on your journey.
Dr. Paul Longobardi
For information on these and related topics, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com