It is well known that stress negatively influences your heart health. What we are learning is that there also is a connection between the happiness of our relationships and our cardiac health. For example, married people tend to live longer and have better health than their single counterparts. However, in some recent research including studies at the University of Michigan, it has been found that the quality of the relationship affects heart health. Stressful marriages can negatively affect cardiac health. For example, when the wife is stressed, the husband's systolic blood pressure went up. If the marital relationship was going badly, both partners saw increases in blood pressure but more so for the husband. When husbands were stressed, wives' blood pressure tended to drop, considered a function of the increased network of resources for wives to deal with the stresses. It also was noted that when spouses fought more, they had thicker carotid arteries, a risk for poor cardiac health.
There also are findings from research work at the University of Pennsylvania that married people survive heart attacks more often than singles and recovered better over two years than patients divorced, separated, or widowed. Finally, researchers in Switzerland found that married people on average were 4.4 pounds heavier than single people, yet another risk factor for poor cardiac health. The conclusion was that married people were less active and would benefit from doing physical activity together.
While the work noted above dealt with marital relationships and is of course correlative, it is likely that ongoing stressful relationships in other venues contribute negatively to heart health as well. These venues particularly would include work relationships where there is considerable research consistent with the conclusion that ongoing stressful work interactions contribute to decreased health in multiple areas including heart health. Findings from the Health Advocate group show that nearly three-quarters of American workers surveyed in 2007 reported experiencing physical symptoms of stress due to work. According to statistics from the American Psychological Association (APA), a startling two-thirds of Americans say that work is a main source of stress in their lives – up nearly 15 percent from those who ranked work stress at the top just a year before. Roughly 30 percent of workers surveyed reported “extreme” stress levels. Whatever the root causes, stressed workers tend to be fatigued, prone to mistakes and injuries, and are more likely to be absent. And most significantly, they incur healthcare costs twice as high than for other employees. The consequences of stress-related illnesses, including heart disease, cost businesses an estimated $200 to $300 billion a year in lost productivity. In our book (I Can't Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn't Manage You; Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.) we discuss these topics and many more about stress. The book is available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For information about the authors, the book, and more information about stress, please see our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.
How, for our present discussion, what does all this mean for you? How are your relationships both marital and others? Do you feel stressed by them? If so, you likely are. While there is no one answer to solve these issues, there are several strategies worth considering:
1. Communicate better. I know that this is a big task. However, consider sometimes just listening when the other party is stressed and don't offer solutions quickly. This is particularly difficult for males who tend to be solution oriented, as discussed in Dr. John Gray's book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". If need be, consider going to relationship therapy. If at work, you might want to get help for yourself rather than suffer the heart consequences of work stress.
2. Find ways to relax physically. This can entail relaxation strategies from mindfulness to yoga to progressive muscle relaxation, all useful in counteracting the physical effects of stress to include increased blood pressure. Also, make time for physical exercise of some kind consistent with your health, such as walking. We discuss all these strategies in our book.
3. Increase your social network. As was noted above for wives who did not show a blood pressure increase even when their stressed husbands did, there is abundant research evidence that having an available social support network buffers our reaction to stressful situations. Women tend to establish wider social networks than men but we all can benefit from a wider set of social resources. What does your social support network look like? Is there at least one person with whom you can share your concerns?
4. Re-evaluate your mindset. What conclusions are you making about particular relationships? If you say "there is no hope and this is the way it is", there will be no hope but not for the reason you say. If you say "he/she is all wrong" it is not true, cuts off communication, and leads quicker to your frustration. Always interrupt such overgeneralized and catastrophic thinking.
All of the above strategies are discussed in detail in our book.
The more you can help foster your relationships, the less will be your stress and the better your heart health. Good luck on your journey.
Dr. Paul Longobardi
For more information on these and related topics, please see my website at www.successandmindset.com