This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This focus comes during a time when many family systems are being strained secondary to COVID-19 restrictions. Domestic violence is a serious and challenging public health problem. The National Institute of Health (NIH) estimates that approximately 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men 18 years of age or older experience domestic violence. Furthermore, NIH statistics show that family and domestic health violence are estimated to affect 10 million people in the United States every year. .Annually, domestic violence is responsible for over 1500 deaths in the United States. But first, just what is domestic violence? Domestic violence occurs when a person consistently attempts to control their partner through physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. The United States Department of Justice defines domestic violence as “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain control over another intimate partner.” Domestic violence can be psychological or physical and affect anyone of any age, gender, or sexual orientation. It may include behaviors meant to scare, physically harm, or control a partner. Domestic violence typically involves an unequal power dynamic in which one partner tries to assert control over the other in a variety of ways. This can happen through threats, insults, physical/emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. Victims suffer anxiety, depression, feelings of helplessness, and diminished self-esteem. Domestic violence is the most common cause of injury for women, leading to even more injuries than car accidents. The physical consequences can be short-term, such as bruises, pain, and broken bones, or long term, such as arthritis, hypertension, and cardiovascular disease. More lasting consequences include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and not infrequently substance use problems.
Why are partners abusive? Abuse is driven by the issues of control and power, usually by men against women. It may involve cultural norms of male primacy as well as lack of differentiation psychologically of the abusing partner from the victim. Abusive partners often isolate their victims from family, friends, work, and any other outside sources of support. They may have explosive tempers and become violent during an abusive episode. Afterward, they become remorseful and try to win their partner back with shows of affection and promises to change. However, the abusive behavior rarely stops. Abuse victims may show both physical and psychological effects. Abuse often leaves physical marks, from bruises and broken bones to shortness of breath and involuntary shaking. Victims can also suffer both short and long-term emotional and psychological effects, including feelings of confusion or hopelessness, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance use problems. While the majority of instances of abuse are by men against women, it is worth noting that nine percent of men suffer such abuse.
Is domestic violence increasing during the pandemic? There is not clear evidence that this is so. However, there is indirect evidence that the rate of murder-suicide, in which a male partner kills a female and then himself, has risen since the same time last year.
If domestic abuse is already a problem in a relationship, the coronavirus pandemic likely makes it worse. An abusive person may use this situation to exert more control over a partner. Also, higher stress in the home may well drive such increased abuse. If there are financial challenges, if the children are at home more, all may increase the risk particularly when domestic abuse already occurs in the home. There still are increased stressors as a result of the pandemic. Families may feel crowded and frustrated that they can’t escape one another. At the same time, they’re isolated from extended family and friends and can no longer participate in many enjoyable and relaxing activities. The abused victim has more difficulty getting away from the perpetrator. There’s plenty to worry about with the threat of COVID-19 itself. Understandably, people fear catching it. However, if they are essential workers and cannot work from home, they still must expose themselves, leading to worsening stress. .
For more information about how stress affects us, please see our book (I Can’t Take It Anymore: How to Manage Stress so It Doesn’t Manage You: Paul G. Longobardi, Ph.D., and Janice B. Longobardi, R.N., B.S.N., P.H.N.), available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1542458056. For additional information about the book and authors, please visit our website at www.manageyourhealthandstress.com.
As I discussed in a post last week on alcohol use during the pandemic, if household members are consuming more alcohol than usual due to stressors, they might be at higher risk for acting out and causing physical harm to family members. The World Health Organization has noted a strong correlation between alcohol and violence between intimate partners. They noted that alcohol affects both body and mind, and can impair thinking and self-control. People who drink alcohol may be less capable of dealing with relationship conflicts without resorting to violence.
Leaving an abusive relationship is not always as easy as it might seem. Victims often stay in abusive relationships because of financial issues, having no place to live, threats from their abuser, concerns for their children, family pressures, and inconsistent support from authorities. Yet, the victim must recognize and acknowledge that abuse is occurring. They need resources to leave safely and time to process the psychological dimensions of the pain of their experience with a mental health professional. There are good support groups available as well.
If you or a loved one are suffering from domestic violence, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, at 800-799-7233 (SAFE), can provide information and advice.
Good luck on your journey. Be safe.
Dr. Paul Longobardi
For information on these and related topics, please visit my website at www.successandmindset.com