I have heard it said that you hire for attitude and train for the job tasks, rather than the reverse. Most managers hire for technical expertise and then hope that the person will get along with others. Also, it has been shown in various organizational studies that the majority of employees extruded from organizations are let go not because of their lack of cognitive intelligence or technical competence, but rather because they can not get along with others. Does this make sense to you? If so, what does it mean to get along with others? Lately, there is a lot being said and written about the concept of emotional intelligence.
So what is emotional intelligence? It’s your ability to be aware of, regulate, and express your own emotions. Additionally, it is your ability to perceive others' emotions and communicate with them in the context of interpersonal relationships. This is easier said than done, particularly in workplace situations.
What goes into good emotional intelligence? Component skills include:
- Empathy
- Social skills
- Self awareness
- Self regulation
Let's review four reasons why every leader/manager/supervisor should master emotional intelligence:
1. Your ability to develop strong relationships is crucial.
Do you develop the kind of relationships which leave employees feeling connected to you and desiring to work with you to achieve the organization's goals? This is the social skill part of emotional intelligence. Without it, you will have to rely only on power and that does not promote cooperation and long term commitment to your organization. Your ability to connect with others and have strong positive relationships will determine how well you will influence and lead them.
2. Your ability to communicate affects all you do in the workplace.
What do we look for in our leaders? It was said of both former Presidents Reagan and Clinton that they were "great communicators". What is this? This is your ability to communicate your organizational vision and inspire commitment to changes in others needed to achieve the vision. We always are communicating anyway. So, by being aware of your own emotions, others' receptivity to your message, and how you impact others allows you to craft your messages to connect to the motivations of others in your organization. This is the self awareness component.
3. You develop others.
How do you view your staff? Do you see them as assets to be used and discarded as necessary? Or do you see them as assets to be developed? All really good leaders/managers/supervisors develop their staff. Are you able to detect subtle shades of difference in behavior and emotion of your staff? If so, you will be able to collaboratively develop solutions to their work challenges. But you must be aware and capable of empathy.
4. Your ability to manage crises occurs regularly.
All organizations go through difficult periods and experience emergencies or crises. I have worked with too many organizations where the philosophy was described by disgruntled staff as "management by crisis".
How capable do you see yourself as handling organizational crises? As a leader, your staff looks to you for guidance, structure, knowledge, and solutions in periods of crisis. At such times your staff usually are more upset and emotional. It is precisely at this time that your ability to self regulate your own emotions while having empathy for staff upset will influence how well you manage the emergency or crisis. If you are able to self regulate, support others, and be flexible in your decision making, you will be far along the way to excellent leadership.
So you ask, "What do I do now?" This is the time to begin to take inventory of yourself in the above areas of self awareness, self regulation, social skills, and empathy whether or not you think you are effective. Don't despair, you can learn to do better no matter at what level you function now. Seek out feedback from those who have your best interest at heart. Consider using a mentor, coach, or consultant. Your increased ability to use emotional intelligence will improve your relationships both personal and professional as well as improve your organization's team cohesion, reduce turnover, and improve productivity.
Dr. Paul Longobardi
For more information on these and related topics, go to my website at www.successandmindset.com.